home birth in the village

This is my fourth home birth, and each story was a tale of its own. I am now a mother of four. Not "again" a mother of three. My son isn't filling a spot left by his sister, who passed. Grief doesn't work this way. I am now a proud mother of four perfect children, and although the world only sees three now, my family feels whole only when each of my four children is acknowledged.

So... the birth, at home! Many question my choice. I could fill pages as to why, but instead, I will simply tell you of my beautiful home birth experience in a remote mountain village.

First Trimester

Giving birth started when I found out I was pregnant. Right there and then, I focused on nutrient-dense food and ate according to my instinct and impulses. I am lucky to have experienced this pregnancy on a remote island in a mountain village where the land is generous, as are the people dwelling on it. Here, we have access to all the food and medicine given freely by God all year long. My body and my heart LOVE it all. These choices in how I eat make a world of difference during birthing and how I feel during and after the pregnancy.

My first summer here in my first trimester was hard! On top of the extreme fatigue I felt, we had to find a new place to live, move, and make our tiny house suitable for our growing family. All during what felt like a 100`C of dry heat daily!

The placenta

Anna and Eirini held me with all respect and honoured my wish to birth my placenta on my own and let me decide when to cut the cord. I waited approximately 40 minutes, ensuring all the vitamins, blood, and nutrition would go through to my baby, ensuring his well-being. I would have waited longer, but I needed more leeway to push my placenta out. Although my midwives were encouraging and incredibly patient, nothing seemed to help it out. It finally came out after nearly 2 hours once I stopped trying to force myself to push it and instead closed my eyes, went inward and asked it to come out while imagining my uterus squeezing it out. We will be gifting the placenta back to the earth, to the land, at the 40 day mark of my son's birth. 

I am so grateful for my midwives, their knowledge, education, and ability to see the birthing process as sacred. They brought all the knowledge and tools required to bring a child earth-side safely. They ensured his life was brought in with respect, calm, and an atmosphere appropriate to the welcoming of a new soul to this earth. Their patience and respect gave me strength; their know-how brought a nest of confidence and safety. And they let me squeeze their hands so hard while I was in the midst of hard contractions!! 

There is so much more to his birth on a spiritual level. I will discuss this side of the birth in another story because it is a deep spiritual journey that deserves a space of its own. 

My wish is for women to experience their sacred birth in joy and peace while being empowered by their body's ability to birth. The birth of themselves as mother and their child. It is possible. We are no different from each other, if I can do it, you can too.

With so much love,
Julie M. Angelatos

Second Trimester

Fortunately, the second trimester was much more comfortable. We were settled, and the temperature was now handlable. There I could start the internal work a gentle labour requires. During this pregnancy, I dealt with the duality between life and grief and the fear surrounding failing this child in my womb. I prayed and cried. I asked for guidance. I knew any fears felt in the present would get in the way of a smooth labour. It's difficult to open your womb when your wounds demand closure.

I wrote my energetic birth plan, peace and calm being the main energy I brought forth. I asked my gossip to be present and help me during the process. I wrote a prayer to open my heart and to shift my energy beyond my wounds. I acknowledged each of my fear and even went through a first-aid class I knew would trigger and re-play my worst memories. I recognized the role my professional life plays in my personal life. I did the work diligently and opened my heart to all it brought to light so I could send it love, forgiveness, and allowance.

On a physical level, I stayed active, walked every day, went outside, moved my body and hips, danced, and enjoyed my growing bump and expanding self! What a privilege to create and sustain life within my body! It seemed to surprise people in the village to see me walking about with my big belly, but that's the best way to feel great and to prepare my body for birthing! Movement is so important!

Third Trimester

The third trimester came, and my triggers played in my mind in a rhythm of hold and release, much like the one you go through during labour. I knew the big release would come at its pinnacle when my baby emerged. The intensity of the triggers grew as I got closer to my due date. Between my mind and body now demanding rest in between activities, I was ready to release, to let go of the old so I could be born anew, along with my child. 

My prodromal contractions started around week 36. With each, I consciously released all bottled-up emotions, opened my body and mind and visualized my baby's head going lower and lower. I spent time every day on my hands and knees to assist the baby in taking the perfect birth position while asking the baby to get ready and in position for a smooth birth. With each prodromal contraction, I prepared mentally for the active labour, closed my eyes and dove into the sensation, feeling the rush, diving in, and surrendering to it.

At around 38 weeks, I lost my mucus plug and felt the baby's head pressed low against my back; it was very painful. No position, standing, walking, or sitting, would feel alright. I asked my body to release that pain. That night, I had regular contractions about 8 minutes apart for 2 hours! This pre-labour increased the space between my hips, and the pressure was gone! I could go on with my daily activities without the pain. What a relief!

The labour

On the first day of week 39, I went to bed early feeling light and content. I recognized the pre-labour blissful feeling; it's such a wonderful headspace! I woke up constantly to go to the bathroom, and considering what came out (#1 and #2), I knew my body was making space. At 4:00 AM, I got up and instinctively put together my birthing altar, a little setup I prepared to inspire, and give me strength. The altar, the words from my gossip, drawing, words of encouragement, salt lamps, and dimmed light all contributed to bringing an atmosphere of calm and peace in the house, the energy I needed to be in, and that I wished for my child to be born in. 

I dove into the calm of the night and thanked God for each contraction, bringing my child closer and closer. I kept visualizing myself open, the path open, the head in the perfect position for birthing. I called his head low, low within me. At around 5:00 AM, I woke my husband Stavros and asked him to help get the house ready to welcome our child. How exciting!  I was calm and eventually decided to try and get some more sleep. I cuddled with my daughter, enjoyed the moment, and drifted away. At around 6:00 AM, I thought maybe it wasn't it yet... and as soon as the thought crossed my mind, a strong rush came in, and I moaned loud enough to wake everyone! I reassured my whole family and asked my children to go back to sleep.

I got up and asked Stavros, who was still busying around, to hook my Elle TENS, a little device that helps reduce the sensation of pain. It was a welcome relief, as my contractions must have been 3-4 minutes apart, although still easy to talk through.

By 7:00 AM,  my contractions were nice and strong, maybe 2-3 minutes apart. As the church bells rang right at the beginning of active labour, we all laughed that the village was also welcoming our child! We had asked for it in passing around town! How perfect! By that time, everyone was up, and my children were looking at me, not knowing where to go or what to do. It was taking my focus away, so I asked them if they would rather go to my friend's house. In two minutes flat, they were ready and out of the door! They had been present for the last birth and said they would come back when they could meet their new sibling. Fair enough! I then called my midwives (Anna and Eirini) and asked them to come. 

Eirini arrived first and checked the baby's heartbeat. I was progressing quickly. At around 7:20, I felt a gush of water between my legs. Each contraction now demanded my full attention, about 1-2 minutes apart. For each one I escaped instead of surrendering to, the contraction would come again in that same intensity until I surrendered to it fully. The intensity surprised me, but Stavros kept reminding me to remain present, let go, release, dive into the sensation, and open up. I felt our baby was coming. Anna came.

The peace and calm in my house were felt by all of us and contributed to supporting my body and mind to keep going. I needed all the strong, powerful energies to be within my body, not outside me. No beeps, no noise, no one rushing me, no one to tell me which position to be in and what to do, no one telling me they knew my body better than I did, no one putting my vagina and vulva on display. With no drugs in my body, I sensed what was needed and followed my urges and instincts. The midwives' voices were always calm and reassuring, peaceful and quiet, reminding me that I could, that my body had the wisdom. I was on my knees, elbow on my couch for support. My privacy and intimacy were respected in all ways, and there was absolutely nothing to break my focus. Stavros held strong with his reassuring masculine energy and made sure no interruptions made it to me while keeping me present and in the right space of mind.  

My child was low within me. The intensity of each contraction felt beyond me; I begged for it to be over. I squeezed Anna's hand so hard! Anna had told me in the days before that labour is almost done when you realize it is bigger than you. I remembered her wise words, breathed each new contraction slowly, and focused on letting go and entering the space where I could feel the pain. I loosened my jaw, which I had been clenching until then. I was silent. I was breathing quietly, focused entirely on the sensation and moment. I went inward, in the place between realms. 

Transition

It was now 9:00 AM, and the church bells rang again. An omen to welcome my child! I decided to push on my next contraction.  It took over me, and for a minute, I attempted to take control and immediately push my baby out. It really wasn't right, and Stavros and Anna reminded me to be present, to SLOW DOWN and stop pushing. I did just that and remembered that babies don't need to be "pushed" into the world. Had I not remembered and kept pushing, I would have torn! Without drugs to numb my feelings, I felt it all. The sensations provided my body with all the information I needed to change position, move, rotate or tilt my hips during labour, and now it told me not to push.

Once again, I surrendered and put my hand on the small part of my child's head, inviting it out. My awareness grew beyond this place and time; the moment grew into everything that exists at once. Nothing else mattered or existed besides the sensation of a head in my hand, through my womb, of my child coming earth-side. My sacred place was opening up. I moaned loudly. I felt the head come out of my womb slowly, perfectly, and steadily. No pushing, just a perfect happening.

He is born

I caught my breath while Anna held my child between my legs. I asked to be given a minute. About 15 seconds after, which felt like a very long moment, I begged to see my child, and Stavros and Eirini helped me move into a sitting position. I saw my child. I finally held him. I discovered I had a son! He cried right away, he pooped, and he was perfect. I held him tight. My husband honoured my body, mind and soul, elevating my ability to emerge life from my womb. I was his queen and had just birthed our son, our sun.

The ecstasy that followed was grand. On a chemical level, the oxytocin your body releases in a physiological birth is eight times stronger than an orgasm. Bliss, ecstasy can only begin to describe it. Everyone present felt it. I felt it so strong the whole village must have felt it! The whole world was reduced to this very moment, expanding our hearts to the edge of the universe. It was so beautiful and so grand!

PHOTO CREDIT: UK midwife-turned-photographer Emma Jean Nolan